


Falling Apart

by Rawrlove19



Series: Janoskians' Snippets [10]
Category: Janoskians
Genre: Crying, Depression, Gen, Older Brothers, Self-Isolation, Tears, Twins, doors, locks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-08
Updated: 2017-05-08
Packaged: 2018-10-29 14:18:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10855737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rawrlove19/pseuds/Rawrlove19
Summary: Jai is falling apart. Who can save him?





	Falling Apart

Lately, I just haven't been myself. I've just felt so sad without a reason to be sad. I hate feeling this way, but at the same time I don't remember what it felt like to not be sad.  I don't know when it started or why I suddenly started feeling this way, but I do know that it's slowly eating away at me piece by piece.

It's almost as if there's a hole inside my chest waiting to be filled by something. What that something is, I have no idea. I just know that the hole needs to be patched up before I suffocate. I can feel it slowly tearing me apart piece by piece and I hate it.

Of course, my brothers never notice that anything is wrong. But, that's the way it's always been. They think I'm just being selfish and an attention seeker every time I lock myself up in my room or get frustrated with everything going on around me. They don't know that really I'm trying extremely hard not to cry until I'm locked in my room where no one can see me break down. If they knew, they'd never understand.

~  
"3...2...1!" I woke up to cold water being poured over my head. I immediately jumped out of bed, screaming.  After the initial shock went away, I turned my head to glare at the two idiots that decided to wake me up with ice cold water. 

The two idiots were none other than my two brothers. I fixed an icy glare on them as they almost died from laughing so much. I never understood why they got so much joy out of harassing me. 

"Is it really that hard to leave me alone?" I groaned in frustration. I wasn't in the mood to be their brilliant joke today. I just wanted to hide in my room away from everyone in sight, but that obviously wasn't happening. I was their entertainment no matter how much I wanted to ignore the world around me. 

"Now, Jai-Jai, why on earth would we do that?" Beau chuckled, causing me to let out another groan of frustration. 

"Just one day!" I raised my voice sharply. "Just one day! That's all I want. One day where I don't have to be someone's idea of a joke."

"Aww, Jai!" Luke teased. "You're not a joke, you're more like a pet!"

"Is it really that hard?" I whispered, my voice breaking like it does right before I cry. Ignoring the strange look I was getting from my brothers, I ran into my bathroom and locked myself inside. This effectively made a barrier between my brothers and I, where I could cry in peace without falling apart with someone watching. As the first fat tear fell, I heard knocking on the door, but there was no way that I was opening the door anytime soon. I had tears streaming down my face as I slid to the floor with my arms curled around my knees. I couldn't help the loud, choked sob that escaped my throat as I buried my face into my knees as well.

"Jai, what's going on?" I heard Luke ask through the door. "We can hear you crying. Please, come out and tell us what's wrong."

"Everything." I choked out, just loud enough for them to hear me. I hadn't planned on saying anything at all. It had just slipped out without me meaning to.

"Jai, you're scaring us!" I heard Beau call out through the door this time. "Don't make me break down this door! Come out, Jai!" I scoffed at his threat. Beau didn't have it in him to break my door down. Luke might do it, but even that was a long shot. Plus, I just wasn't that important to them. Why would they even want to waste that much effort on someone they didn't love anymore?

"Go away!" I raised my voice louder than it had been in awhile. That, mixed with all of my crying, caused my voice to crack and ruined whatever effect it would have had on them.

"Jai don't be like this!" Beau begged.

"Go away, then!" I yelled back.

"That's it!" I heard Luke yell before he stared to kick my door harder and harder until the lock gave way and the door caved in.

"Hey!" I yelled, kind of angry that they broke my door. 

"Oh babe." Luke let out sympathetically. "Jai, why are you crying?"

"M'not crying!" I argued, even though I knew it wouldn't work. Then, my oldest brother was on the floor next to me and pulling me into his chest. I completely broke down at this one simple gesture. I buried my face into his chest as my tears returned full force. I sobbed my heart out, even though I knew I shouldn't cry in front of anyone at all.

"It's okay, Jai. Just try to breathe a little." I heard Luke whisper from where he had sat beside me. As I made eye contact, he reached out a hand to stroke through my hair in a form of comfort.

"Jai, won't you tell us what's wrong?" Beau asked, and that was when I truly cracked.

"I'm sad." I said simply, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. 

"Why?" Luke asked, curiously.

"I don't know. I really don't." I chuckled humorlessly. "I just woke up one morning hating life, hating myself, and feeling like I was slowly falling apart."

Wordlessly both of my brothers hugged me. I was shocked. I don't even remember the last time they hugged me and it wasn't for a video.

"We both love you!" Beau promised, as Luke nodded his head in agreement. "We're your big brothers and we will never let you get to that point if you simply let us in."

"We'll never let you fall, Jai-Jai. You're my younger twin and Beau's youngest brother. We'll never let you fall no matter what, because we'll always love you for you. Nothing else!"


End file.
